That never wrote to me,–
The simple news that Nature told,
With tender majesty.
Her message is committed
To hands I cannot see;
For love of her, sweet countrymen,
Judge tenderly of me”
— Emily Dickinson
Above interview is with Adam from The Adam Paradox podcast on my experience in Pret A Manger.
We spoke about gaslighting, “shadow banning” and censorship on social media, as well as bereavement, trauma and mental health in general. I further talked about the significant timing of Pret CEO’s announcement of the £1000 Tweet for all staff. I also talked about a regular day in Pret and how staff have to cut corners, in order to fulfill the immense workload under constant pressure.
It is hard to squeeze my traumatic experience into a podcast segment, but we covered enough to get a good picture of today’s systemic stress environment for profit driven global companies.
if you read through this weird and crazy blog and website, I am still in the period of “peace before the storm”, as I assume a powerful company will try one last time to crush me. But I know they will rather work their PR(et) machine to keep convincing the public what a wonderful company they are in how they treat their staff. I survived to tell a different story.
I wish I could say that I am healed and moved on, and my blog here isn’t as much with “tender majesty” as I would have hoped to write. But the pain and trauma I still go through seems too grave to recover from. I had often had two choices since my brother died and the added turmoil of bullying in Pret, I either end my life or openly write down my story, or both.
But I have abandoned the thought of suicide, as this would not help anyone. Half my family is gone, I buried my dad in March, three months after getting fired while he just came out of a coma. I don’t need to put more grief on whoever is left. And my friends who helped and supported me as best as they could, especially my friends in the States and Germany, I couldn’t do that to them. That wouldn’t be fair on anyone. And I decided no matter what they do to me, no matter what tricks and how huge the pain and panic attacks and hopelessness, my life is in God’s hands.
If you or someone you know struggles with suicidal thoughts and live in or around London, UK, please pass the following two charity sites on:
Maytree (5 night free stay in-house) that referred me to The Listening Place.
Thank you for reading.
The Listening Place “Small Charity Big Impact Award”
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