Category: #Misogynist

Upfront to any former Pret barista, here’s one of my infamous “open letters” to or regarding Pret again. But please know this is NOT for you if you’ve been a barista in Pret. This is for someone who contacted me, who is in the public. They know who they are, but I don’t want to out the person as they contacted me in private, and I respect privacy, no matter if I agree with the person(s) or not, unless a crime or injustice is being committed against me.

If the person would have commented in public, I’d respond in public. But I want to write this on my blog because it will be long and I don’t want to write any more via private messages to make the person obligated to read. Plus, I am addicted to writing, it keeps me sane, it helps me to recover and work through the traumas and anger I’ve been through since my brother died.

(UPDATE 12.02.2024 – I DID call out the person’s name on a social media platform while I fell into drinking again, but I leave it. The more I thought about his “advise” and arrogance, the angrier I got. I will leave him here un-named, unless I change my mind. This person deserves to be called out, and I told him publicly to never private message me again!).

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Dear Former Pret Barista,

again, thank you for enquiring what the heck I’m doing with my blog and socials regarding Pret. I will be blunt and straight forward with you, but you’re a big boy and can handle it.

Upfront also, you don’t need to read this long waffle, and no need to respond. In fact, please don’t respond. There’s nothing I need to hear from you as in “advise” or anything else. This is just to get some thoughts off my chest on what you wrote in response to what I do. And also upfront, my mother-tongue is not English, so I use very simple words and my grammar isn’t always there. I write my blog to cope, not to aim for a Nobel Prize in Literature. That info was for the spelling police!

You gave a few good thoughts which I appreciate. I will paraphrase some of the things you said. You feel like my blog should be done better, more slick I guess, and I agree! My blog looks sh!t, cluttered, unprofessional! But I fund my blog fully by myself on no budget. I wrote every single dot and comma myself. No help, no “AI” or whatever trendy stuff is out there now. And I am still too traumatised to trust anyone with my blog.

But for one, I have no strength in “how” I do things, because I still suffer trauma and have to almost daily make the decision if to go on. This might come across weak to you, but I don’t care.

When I started to write my blog, a few months after my dad died, my plan was to write down my story regarding Pret and then end my life.

I started my blog in 2017, actually on the day of the Grenfell Tower fire. For about a year I only wrote about my brother with poems, songs, memories etc. I mentioned my work issues with Pret but without naming Pret. And then in May 2018 after I “licked my wounds” Pret having fired me days after my dad came out of a three-week coma in December 2017, I started to NAME Pret publicly. I was scared they’d sue me even after I declined their “hush money” for silence. But I didn’t care because I had the plan already to end my life.

I speed-wrote my story down and wanted to die. I cannot explain the traumatic state I was in. Looking back, I don’t know how I even got up every day. I always had my Mum in the back of my mind, that I can’t do this to her, but I was at my end. And then also support started to come in from Union leaders, journalists etc. But I found soon that they just wanted THEIR names out, and didn’t really give a toss about my experience.

I kept writing and writing and writing and writing …

Writing my blog and all I “achieved” against Pret (press reports etc.) doesn’t mean anything to you, but it is my way to sow more seeds in my inner “solitary confinement” of my traumas. Like “The Man Who Planted Trees”, I plant words, tweets, blog posts and distract myself from all the losses and bullsh!t surrounding it all. You don’t understand this because you think that only a “big”, famous person can achieve something. I disagree. Every little voice can resonate even, or especially into the far future.

The Light UNDER The Rock

My writings are public, but mainstream media only cares about fame, just like you meant what you wrote, and I get it. But again, I don’t care. Trauma, bereavement, anger is not welcome, especially not from a woman.

That’s why I will always mention freelance journalist Mike Powell who had the courage to mention my blog with his BBC report.

I am not a poet, even though I published a book of German poems before the publisher went bust, but I often think of the likes of Emily Dickinson, who in her lifetime anonymously published only about 4 poems in magazines. She hid her 1800+ poems under her bed, and instructed her sister to burn them once she’s dead.

Her sister didn’t even know the sheer volume of Emily’s poems, and she went against Emily’s wishes (which regardless of Emily’s later fame, I disagree with! HONOUR the person’s wishes!), and got them published a few years later.

But today Emily Dickinson is called the Mother of American Poetry. And all that from her poems under her bed. And during her lifetime, she never saw the fruit of her labour.

No, that’s not my aim to become some big-shot writer posthumously, but I know in my heart of hearts that the work I’ve put in, which wasn’t work at all because it was a lot of anger pouring down on paper, will bear fruit one day. It will bear fruit in that, any company, no matter how small or big should NOT treat their staff like sh!t for profit to the point the staff want to kill themselves. It’s too simple, I know. But again, I don’t care.

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Who Do I Pick Fights With?

You might ask why I didn’t go to Tribunal. I did, and had already 5 court dates including 1 day preliminary hearing. But then I withdrew because my dad died at the time of preparing for the case. And I had no support. I was like you were, in your council home, working from 6am to 2pm or later as a barista in Pret. And then losing my shitty job. I went from Citizen Advise Bureau to free legal advise to online searches on legal issues … while my dad was in intensive care and then rehab. I flew back and forth again like I did after my brother’s death. And then my dad died.

My friends abandoned me early on, my Mum also started to deteriorate, we all still coming to terms of my brother’s death and the weird stuff surrounding it.

I think I did pretty well without going on a shooting spree!

You, dear former barista, you think you have support, because the person you are loyal to is all you need, you think. Because that’s all you know. But life changes at any turn, and in the darkest times, we KNOW who those are who are loyal to us (or not).

“Weakness” is not a bad thing in times of recovery. Vulnerability is ok, weakness is ok, and everyone has their own way to recover. And don’t be so arrogant to tell people you don’t know how to fight their causes.

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Strong Against Strong – vs – Weak Against Strong

You wrote to me that if Pret would have wronged you as you were the teenager at the time you worked at Pret, and with the position of “fame” you have now, years later, you could really do some damage to Pret. Yes, of course you could, but the way I do it, I can’t really do anything else, BUT I do what I do with WHAT I have, not with what I wished I would have.

And what you’re really saying is, the sheer arrogance you portray that only if one is big and famous, they can make a difference. How immature and ignorant you are! Have you never learnt, or have you forgotten that it is often the “small” people who START a revolution? Oh no, I won’t start a revolution, but I am in for the long-haul and that subtle but defining difference my little contribution does and did to this world.

You were a kid when you worked in a shop that opened up new. New Shop Openings that are fresh and shiny are easier than established old, dirty shops, because Pret give more staff, no targets for about a year before they start squeezing. And the higher you move up the ladder, the more issues you encounter. Like they always say, it’s “lonely” at the top, right? Or, the higher the levels, the higher the devils. Old sayings.

I was a shop team leader, and as you should know, unless it was different in your days, team leaders are the real managers. They run the shops, while the job of managers is to scrutinize where to save money and blame the team leader.

You even advised me to stop doing what I do. I had a laugh-out-loud moment there. If what I do has no impact, why even “advising” me to stop? 😉

It is EASY to do something once you’re “big”. It’s a completely different thing to do what I do when I’m “small”. And THAT takes courage, determination and hope. And all that WITHOUT having anyone at my side helping me! Try that for once my dear former colleague!

And as a side note, I worked 7 years in Pret when my brother died, long-term staff and team leader. And even though I AND an OPs manager asked Pret in WRITING for me to be put under the Pret Foundation, like they do with the “rising stars” (patronizing way to call former homeless people), Pret never responded.

Why do you think Pret 1. don’t sue me for writing publicly and 2. don’t respond? You do know it would open a can of worms for them, and they already have enough bad press as it is. But they will soon have good press again, because the media is in Pret’s pocket and the general public accepts bullying of low-wage staff.

And your mentioning of my 350 followers, sure, these days it’s all about building numbers, quantity over quality.

Several things, I don’t care about numbers. Also, my own fault, at one point I kicked all my followers off while drunk. Other times I asked people to unfollow and/or block me as I kept writing drunken posts. Another reason is that my account is heavily censored, often shadow-banned where people can’t find me. And I neither believe in nor would compare myself to Jesus, but I too CHOOSE my followers. Evertime someone follows me that I don’t recognise having anything to do with Pret or anything I post about, I discreetly click the “unfollow” button, as well as block any advertiser or spammer who only follow small accounts to fish for followers. Again, that’s “weak” to you, and again, I don’t care.

I don’t owe you this explanation, but it’s my way to “teach” you for a change that sure, when you have a lot of followers, you can reach more people fast. But not everyone is or has to be like everyone else who is just out for a name and numbers. That’s why I don’t have my name and face public, because I suffer anxiety from everything including what Pret did.

I stand by my weirdness and the trauma with it. My trauma and anger that pushes even good people away, a form of sabotage I feel for letting my brother down. And yet, I’m on my way to become better, but I like my solitary and silent place after all the stress.

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Fighter Or Coward?

Imagine you are a boxer in a ring, and you fight an equal opponent with the same weight and roughly the same strength. That’s courageous and fair.

But then imagine you are a boxer and you beat up a woman who has no physical strength. OR you witness another boxer beat a woman, and you don’t step in. That’s cowardly, and there is NO honour or respect in that.

If Pret would have hurt you when you were the teenage barista that you were, and you were to speak out against Pret NOW when you’re big, sure, that’s easy! Super easy! Nothing admirable there.

But if you speak out against Pret when you have NOTHING, when you’re a small nobody, oh AND a woman mind you, that’s courageous. No? Tell me!

I pick fights with the big guns. I picked a fight with 5 TALL German police men while drunk (ok WHILE drunk!) in my anger for how German police dealt with my brother’s death. I woke up in a jail cell and later when at home saw the black and blue marks all over my legs. And cutting marks from the hand-cuffs on my wrists that I had to hide from my Mum who started to deteriorate with a combined form of Alzheimer and dementia.

I pick fights with anyone equal or stronger than me! I don’t beat down on vulnerable people. That would be the EPITOME of cowardliness and TRUE weakness.

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“Innocent” Days of Work

You were a Pret barista when you were a teenager for 4 years at a time just when Pret sold out to private equity firm Bridgepoint. But that was after McDonald’s already had a 33% stake in Pret and resold it after Pret got their foot into the USA market. You just left on time, just before they really put on the squeeze on the operations and on us staff.

I started in 2008 and don’t know Pret in any other way than the extreme micromanagement. But I worked with people who know Pret from before Bridgepoint took over. They said it was always tough and micromanaging, but since 2008 it became worse. And needless to say, now since 2018 with JAB Holdings / Reimann family having taken over, it’s another level of worse and staff turnover is high as well as customer satisfaction down the drains. But before long, Pret will bullsh!t everyone again and the reviews turn positive, as well as Pret (allegedly) employing people to write positive reviews.

Let’s ignore what shop managers, even area manager and HQ staff say? But I guess you’d tell them to toughen up, hey?

And I’m sure you’ll say that they shouldn’t complain, but just take their destiny into their own hands. Well, I wouldn’t take that advise from you, because you never took your destiny into your own hands. You were taken along on the ride by an alpha person who needs you to cover him, no matter if you go down as well.

Of course, if you would have been in my shoes in what Pret did to me, you could for sure do some damage with all the “fame” and followers you have now. BUT many of your demographics and followers follow a macho pretence and a lie that hurts another demographic of people, those who are vulnerable. And you KNOW that very well!

If you were to tweet right now that Pret are a horrible company, MANY of your followers wouldn’t even care, because they don’t hang out at Pret. They hang on the computer, in schools, in clubs, many wouldn’t even know who Pret are. And I say “are”, because I know the executive team behind Pret, a group of the core team of Pret who don’t care about anyone but themselves. But you know how that is.

Judging from the response you get regarding Pret in your feed with all the followers you have, no-one even gives a toss about Pret or your experience with Pret.

And then you wished me luck on my “crusade”. Yep, I have had this patronizing advise many times. Nothing new under that sun.

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Unsolicited Advise

You gave me unsolicited advise, now here’s my unsolicited advise to you, and I will be straight out. Especially after the stuff you and especially the person you are loyal to and are a shadow of “hand out” to vulnerable people (allegedly 😉 ).

Since you contacted me, I knew who you are and who the person is you are loyal to. But I didn’t do any more research, because I couldn’t be bothered with what you deal with. I watched a few of your interviews, some clips with the person you “hang out” with etc. When I saw the few clips of you people, I saw boys, not men. I did get a little cross with how the heck someone like you dares to give me advise.

I mean, you must feel so secure in yourself OR delusional to give me advise even before you researched what I went through. That takes balls my friend!

The person you hang out with because of your “bond” and the loyalty you feel obligated to, is not what I would call courageous. But you are just known for being the “person of” the other person. It’s like when my brother was popular in the school yard when we were kids, I was known for being “the sister of my brother”. I always hated that! And when my brother fncked up, I wasn’t popular anymore either. I wanted to be myself. And yet, even though my brother always protected me in school, like big brothers do, I let him down when we were adults. I lived too far away for years and never knew if he had any troubles, because he kept it away from me.

My brother rather suffered himself than to drag me down! I didn’t know a lot of the things he struggled with until after he died. And now, I don’t forgive him for that!!! But equally I protect his dignity, his privacy, his struggles, even after death BECAUSE he wanted to protect me, even though I wish he reached out and I won’t forgive myself for not having seen the signs.

If your person goes down, you go down with them, because they involve you. And maybe that’s your appeal, to be an infamous “couple of people” like Bonnie & Clyde or the Kray brothers etc. that went down in history and filled books and movies. Yes, you will fill some books and films. But no, there are too many 5-minute famous people these days who will also have hammered their legacy into stone to compete in death to live on.

Your bond makes sense, and putting myself into your shoes, I’d probably run with it as well, I don’t know. But knowing myself, I can strongly relate to Aimee Osbourne, the other daugther of Ozzy Osbourne who didn’t want to partake in the reality show and carved out her own path. Or Peter Green who founded Fleetwood Mac and named the band after the rhythm section and then withdrew because he didn’t care about all the fame and pitfalls. That would be me. I used these examples because music is everything.

But I certainly know for sure, I’d not be partaking in any illegal or violent enterprise for the sake of money and fame. That’s lame and weak. And maybe one day you’ll wake up and have an epiphany that life is short, and how much loyalty is healthy for you and them.

Don’t be known for a legacy of being the “sister of …”

That’s my unsolicited advise to you. Life is short.

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Open Letter to Tristan Tate, former Pret Barista – Brother of Andrew Tate.

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I worked at Pret A Manger and survived systemic workplace bullying during bereavement that involved HR, the top leadership, HQ and even the now “retired” former CEO Clive Schlee. I declined 4 settlement offers if I am silent about my ordeal. But I rather speak out to help others. For an overview of important blog entries of my experience with Pret, please visit “My Ordeal with Pret A Manger”. The little arrow to the right next to each heading will lead directly to the post.
An incomplete list on what other Pret staff say about Pret’s bullying environment: Caught in the Act Bullying at Pret and what Shop Managers and HQ Staff say about Pret and their leadership.
I tell my story for the first time verbally in below audio player interview on a podcast by The Adam Paradox, and wrote two articles in the Scottish Left Review and was mentioned by the BBC.

Please also see the MEDIA page for more.

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Thank you for reading/listening.

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