My Year in Music

 

 

most of these songs are with me for a long time.

One of my favourite programs is the Desert Island Discs. One of the smartest interview programs created as it draws out deep insights into a personality via the means of music. I am no person who would ever feature on the program. But I look back on this year, and music has become more dominant again compared to the first 3 years after my brother died. Music was always my “vehicle” to make sense. But I couldn’t enjoy it as much the last 4 years.

The Desert Island Discs’ “rules” are that a person, be it a politician, singer, actor, sports person, anyone in the limelight, can choose 8 songs to take on a desert island with them should they be stranded.

Out of the 8 they can choose 1 song they would save if the waves would flood the island. They are then given the Bible and the complete works of Shakespeare and can choose one other book to take with them (no other complete works according to the rules).

And one last thing they can take with them is a luxury item, but it cannot be for practical purposes, but merely for luxury.

Some luxury items guests have chosen:

  • A Library (Emmylou Harris)
  • A bed with plenty of pillows (Morrissey)
  • Sun cream (Annie Lennox)
  • A typewriter and paper (Tom Hanks)
  • and the most obvious was Simon Cowell who wanted to take a mirror to the island!

 

Of course those items are for broadcast, the real items only they know.

But hanging my post on this idea of the Deserts Island Disc concept, I want to post 12 songs, like 12 months of this year that carried me through this year on and off. Some old songs I know for years and others I just discovered.

These are in no particular order and without any reason at times.

Random order:

1.

Johnny Cash “I See A Darkness” by Will Oldman aka Bonnie “Prince” Billy

2.

Nena “In meinem Leben” (In My Life)

3.

I was a kid going home from school passing by a ferris wheel that was put up for a week playing this song in a loop of other songs. I had no radio or cassette player (sorry, MP3 of course!) at that time but was “destroyed” by this song. I went home from school, did my homework quickly, as not doing it would not allow me to play outside with friends. After homework I went back to the ferris wheel to wait for this song to come on again. And it did. I just stood there frozen, listening …

 

Dexys Midnight Runners “Come On Eileen” (on Jools 2013)

4.

Cat Power “The Greatest” even her cover of her own song is my favourite cover. I borrowed her song for my brother.

5.

I can only think of Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, McDonald’s, the Marketplace, Life … where people have thousands of “friends” and “followers” and customers, yet where it takes very few people being despised by the many, until the many become the few. It takes few people to resist the crowd and stand on their own. I love Whitey’s take on Bukowski’s poem …  a hidden artist tucked away from the crowd.

This song is one of the motors that makes me stand where everyone leaves me. Many artists, even those I respect tweet and post how they are against this and that. But very few stand out by speaking up against a particular brand, organization, political party etc. Bernie Sanders has fought against Amazon, Walmart etc for low-paid workers. He does not really “qualify” as an artist because it’s his bread and butter to work and struggle for change.

But I look to and fro the musical landscape to find artists like Joan Baez, who in her day went to prison several times, got released, went home, cleaned up, and went back on the streets.

I’m looking for artists who stand out from the geniuses of the crowd.

 

Whitey ft. Charles Bukowski “Genius of the Crowd”

6.

Julie and Buddy Miller’s rendition of “Dirty Water

Julie Miller being my all-time favourite artist, no one can topple her off the top spot, her song writing, simple poetry, authenticity and rawness is music on its own. But her covers of artists like Richard Thompson, Emmylou Harris, Mark Herald etc. would be enough for a career, but this one is my favourite of her covering a song.

 

 

Original:

 

7.

Genesis “Mama” (One of my favourite songs as a kid, the intensity of a build-up musically, priceless. I lip-synced to this song on birthday parties not realizing it wasn’t a song about mama 😀 )

8.

Edward Elgar “Nimrod”

This “song” (sorry, Master Piece and Present) is my absolute favourite classical piece ever. I go to it, not when I need peace, but when I have nothing left to lose.

This piece is the most precious gift anyone can give. The symbolism apart from the beauty Elgar wrote for his German friend whose last name was Jaeger, meaning Hunter in English. Nimrod was a hunter in biblical times. Just the thought that someone would write a song for you, let it be a nursery rhyme or a clumsy hip hop tune. No, what kind of friend would write this piece for you taking your last name as one part of the inspiration?

The story is the cherry on the cake of the music. This kind of friendship only reminds me of David and Jonathan. But the music stands on its own. When deep friendship meets music. Nothing more to say.

I listen to this and shake my head in disbelief.

Edward Elgar “Nimrod”

9.

“In the cathedrals of New York and Rome
There is a feeling that you should just go home
And spend the lifetime finding out just where that is”

Forget Pixies, this cult band still too unknown, split apart, yet not forgotten, makes my ears spin and return to church. This song accompanied me throughout the years.

Jump, Little Children “Cathedrals”

10.

A discovery this year of being light in Germany …

Bosse “Alles ist jetzt”

11.

In this case it’s true

1 + 1 = ONE

There’s no duet + band like this one …

 

U2 ft. Mary J Blige “One”

 

God bless music, words, life experience, belief, faith, despair, failure, loss, fun, learning curves, stumbling about, purity.

Thank you Alan Lomax and Charlie Barnett for having been there LOUDLY in the field even while unheard on the main road.

 

Charles Barnett “Run to Jesus for Refuge”

 

Encore

 

Lambchop “Give It”

 


 

I worked at Pret A Manger and survived systemic workplace bullying during bereavement that involved HR, the top leadership, HQ and even the now “retired” former CEO Clive Schlee. I declined 4 settlement offers if I am silent about my ordeal. But I rather starve and speak out to help others. For an overview of important blog entries of my experience with Pret, please visit “My Ordeal with Pret A Manger”. The little arrow to the right next to each heading will lead directly to the post.
I tell my story for the first time verbally in below audio player interview on a podcast by The Adam Paradox, and wrote an article in the
Scottish Left Review.
Thank you for reading/listening.

Unless otherwise stated or linked to, this website and all writings within this site are the property of poetrasblok.com, LateNightGirl.org and are protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws. Reproduction and distribution of my writings without written permission are prohibited.

©2017 – 2019 poetrasblok.com, LateNightGirl.org unless otherwise stated. All Rights reserved. Disclaimer.

 

In My Life

 

Nena’s music has been been around all my life.

40 years of music, her now being 58 years old, still going strong with three of her 5 kids on stage.

Her son joins her in this song and his twin sister being in view in-between, his brother on keyboards… her husband maybe behind the camera as he was in London …

A love song to life, of relationships, family, gains and losses, giving up, falling down, rising up …

 

This song hit me again today.

 

My brother and I were always glued to the TV when Nena sang on the German “Hitparade” all those years ago.

I saw Nena in London in a small venue in 2010. I hope to see her live again one of these short days.

I translated this simple song because it needs to be heard outside of the German language.

 

To me with all the bullsh*t in this life, it is a love song to life.

And no other than Nena can sing it.

 

One of her best songs to date:

Song translation ©2018 poetrasblok.com

Link

 

Life is short, with or without drugs, alcohol, sugar, music and so on.

Live, be kind, rock and sing.

Nothing wrong with anything …

Just be kind

 


Translation ©2018 poetrasblok.com
Unless otherwise stated or linked to, this website and all writings within this site are the property of poetrasblok.com, LateNightGirl.org and are protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws. Reproduction and distribution of my writings without written permission are prohibited.

©2017 – 2019 poetrasblok.com, LateNightGirl.org unless otherwise stated. All Rights reserved. Disclaimer.

 

I just fell in love with a song!

 

I am not in tune at all with the German music scene as I used to be, and I am really weary with the pseudo gangster rap bull-crap in Germany, which unfortunately serves as a money making machine like everywhere else. I love hip hop and rap with its fast paced poetry especially in Grime, but I love it when it’s original and authentic, not the cliché stuff that is so huge in Germany.

And then a musician comes along with explosive positivism that grabs me by the heart. I just discovered this guy on my favourite talk-show on German TV, and I am smitten with German music again!

Art, music, meaning and to top it, an important but simple message!

I just did a quick and loose translation of a very simple and purposely clumsy brilliant text.

This song and the video just made my day and brought me hope that life is good, regardless. I know that there is nothing new under the sun, but when you rediscover glimpses of life again, it is like a new day where the sky is blue and the grass is green.

Before I lose this sense again in this emotional roller-coaster of fear and hopelessness, I post this song and text because it deserves a massive mention even or especially outside of Germany.

bosse-2016

Everything is Now

I have learned to enjoy life

to water my friends like flowers

I have learned to keep the fire going

to not lose the spark

I have learned that first impression is deceiving

and that it can be good to miss ones turn

I have learned that even in misery

the sun still rises regardless of the darkness

And then a brilliant idea begins to kindle

like a fresh breeze, a new day

then a brilliant idea starts to kindle

and it brings light where it is dark

And everything is now

it is everything, everything now

Life is short

too short for a long face

and little by little laughing returns

and the joy, and the pelvic thrust, and happiness

I have learned that there are many stupid people

who pass on hate that creates borders

I have learned that the courage that you give

will be the love that you’ll receive

I have noticed that I desire nevermore

to get further, to be cooler I don’t need no more

I have learned to celebrate

and appreciate what I have

And then a brilliant idea begins to kindle

like a fresh breeze, a new day

then a brilliant idea starts to kindle

and it brings light where it was dark

And everything is now

it is everything, everything now

Life is short

too short for a long face

and little by little life comes back

and the joy and the pelvic thrust, and happiness

And what you dream you’ve got to do

all the great, marvelous things

to do it all, to fulfill it all

what you dream you’ve got to do

all the best things, super things

just do it, just go for it

….

Fresh off-the-press song debut on my favourite talk-show.

Original:

Alle ist jetzt

Ich hab gelernt das Leben zu genießen
Meine Freunde wie Blumen zu gießen
Ich hab gelernt das Feuer zu schür’n
Den Zauber nicht zu verlieren
Ich hab gelernt der erste Blick täuscht
Und dass es gut ist, wenn man sich verläuft
Ich hab gelernt auch wenn’s mies ist
Geht die Sonne trotzdem auf

Dann kommt eine zündende Idee
Wie frischer Wind, ein neuer Tag
Dann kommt eine zündende Idee
Und die macht hell wo dunkel war

Und alles ist jetzt
Es ist alles, alles jetzt
Das Leben ist kurz
Zu kurz für ein langes Gesicht
Und Stück für Stück kommt das Lachen zurück
Und die Freude und der Hüftschwung und das Glück

Ich hab gelernt es gibt viele dumme Menschen
Die ihren Hass weitergeben, so entstehen Grenzen
Ich hab gelernt den Mut den man gibt
Ist Liebe die man kriegt
Ich hab gemerkt ich will kein Nimmermehr
Weiter, geiler brauch ich nicht mehr
Ich hab gelernt zu feiern
Und zu schätzen was ich hab

Dann kommt eine zündende Idee
Wie frischer Wind, ein neuer Tag
Dann kommt eine zündende Idee
Und die macht hell wo dunkel war

Und alles ist jetzt
Es ist alles, alles jetzt
Das Leben ist kurz
Zu kurz für ein langes Gesicht
Und Stück für Stück kommt das Lachen zurück
Und die Freude und der Hüftschwung und das Glück

Und was du träumst das musst du machen
All die besten, super Sachen
Alle machen, alle machen
Was du träumst das musst du machen
All die besten, super Sachen
Einfach machen, einfach machen

Und alles ist jetzt
Es ist alles, alles jetzt
Das Leben ist kurz
Zu kurz für ein langes Gesicht
Und das was du träumst musst du machen, einfach machen
All die besten, super Sachen
Alles ist jetzt
Alles ist jetzt

Und das was du träumst musst du machen, einfach machen
All die besten, super Sachen
Alles ist jetzt

From

 

Translation ©2018 LateNightGirl.org

 

Unless otherwise stated or linked to, this website and all writings within this site are the property of poetrasblok.com, LateNightGirl.org and are protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws. Reproduction and distribution of my writings without written permission are prohibited.

©2017 – 2019 poetrasblok.com, LateNightGirl.org unless otherwise stated. All Rights reserved. Disclaimer.

 

The Legacy of an Abnormal Load

I have been extremely angry for a long time now since my brother died and the mistreatment at work which added to so much turmoil and pain. I have reacted very badly in so many ways, had no tools to wiggle my way around trauma, the anxiety and subsequent illness I have found myself in.

But I want to be “sweeter” again like I used to write, encouraging people, but this time with a good pinch of salt and where needed some hot chili!

I cannot and don’t want to change other people who think it fit to mistreat vulnerable people. I certainly cannot and don’t want to change a multi-million pound company that is toxic and hurtful towards people who are traumatized. I can only change myself. I know that of course, but anyone who knows about excruciating emotional pain and loss knows that without wholesome navigation it is impossible to get through this emotional mine field alone. To get through this you will bump some fellow travelers on the road.

In my darkest time on my way to work I was sitting in the bus looking aimlessly and on autopilot out the window. I saw one of those cars that have the task to not only navigate oversized Trucks through the streets so they don’t bump into other vehicles and buildings, but to warn the traffic ahead that a “monster” is approaching and that they should steer safely along the way.

Abnormal-Load

I thought figuratively speaking that I needed a car like this to navigate me and warn oncoming traffic that I am carrying a load in me that I cannot safely bring to wherever I was going. I had no vehicle like this. I bumped into others, some so hard their cars totaled, and they either steered away from me in fear or bumped into me in frustration and some frankly being pretty mean!

I found this depiction of how I stumbled through this nightmare:
Sesame Street’s version of my turmoil courtesy of AntiBullyingAtWork on Facebook.

I wrote last night on this blog another angry message regarding Pret. I wrote that if I had to put into one word what Pret is to me, it would be the word: Arrogance. With that I meant a company that feels invincible to treat people so hurtfully and believe they get away with “murder” so-to-speak. I deleted that blog entry again because I never mean to offend or hurt others, no matter how big they are. And yet, my life is so out of sync and even this morning I woke up with an anxiety attack again. But I learned to ride those out as they don’t take long. But it makes me angry what I have become and have let others treat me so poorly.

I remembered a song yesterday that I heard years ago about what legacy we leave behind. My legacy for sure is messed up as this angry, crazy, ill, bonkers… fill-in-the-blanks… person. But one thing I will not be remembered for is that I step on people who suffer in whatever way or form they suffer. I may be remembered for having been insensitive, clumsy, hectic, loud, super angry… but not taking advantage of vulnerable people. And that “legacy” is enough for me.

If I can get back to the person who used to give people the benefit of a doubt and who was fast forgiving and moving on in life, I’d be in good shape. And if I can become like this vehicle here above, to help others who have a monstrous load on them, navigating them safely to their destination, I’d be in really good shape.

A good balance of self-care and care for others without burning out or breaking on the task to love myself as I love others, that’ll be grand! As my favourite poetess put it into better words:

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

— Emily Dickinson

 

“I want to leave a legacy

how will they remember me

did I choose to love…”

— Nichole Nordeman

Legacy

 

 

Unless otherwise stated or linked to, this website and all writings within this site are the property of poetrasblok.com, LateNightGirl.org and are protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws. Reproduction and distribution of my writings without written permission are prohibited.

©2017 – 2019 poetrasblok.com, LateNightGirl.org unless otherwise stated. All Rights reserved. Disclaimer.

You Went Gone (death came and got me)

For my big brother.

I miss ya….

 

(»You Went Gone« by LateNightGirl.org aka pk4tk / »Death Came and Got Me« by Rosie Thomas – text slightly amended by me.)

 

Unless otherwise stated or linked to, this website and all writings within this site are the property of poetrasblok.com, LateNightGirl.org and are protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws. Reproduction and distribution of my writings without written permission are prohibited.

©2017 – Present expret.org, poetrasblok.com, LateNightGirl.org unless otherwise stated. All Rights reserved.